I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
