so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Dick very happy bro
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
