Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
