do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Congratulations! We have a period
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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