oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
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