Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
wow bdsm is so cute
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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