The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
