he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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