Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Randomize
