if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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