it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Randomize
