I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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