yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Randomize
