ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
