I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
