you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
