Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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