You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
