I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
