Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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