I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
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