Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Randomize
