I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
