so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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