He is an equal opportunity slut.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
