Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
