didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
