We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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