I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
