Barsexuality is the new black.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
