I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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