He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I think my vagina is haunted
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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