isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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