Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Randomize
