Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
