I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
