They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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