I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Never underestimate the power of titties
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