i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Help. Why am I so naked?
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