ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
