Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
