Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
