we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
