the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Randomize
