i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
