I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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