you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Randomize
