whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
