I seem to have left my pride at pride
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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