This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
