I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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