break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
