talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
