We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
what day is it and did you see me today?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
