Don't make out with my wife yet
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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