when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize