if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
