I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize