why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
