If i come over, it means nothing
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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