When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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