Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
