Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
