Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
