this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
