Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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