We're facebook friends in real life
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
