I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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