there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
