we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
